When I first wrote this post, it was very negative. I was expressing frustration with the feeling that I have been doing very little. How unambitious my life seems. I’ve been wrestling a lot with balancing self-care and self-improvement. Sometimes it feels like it’s so much work just to maintain a status quo — to pay the bills, feed yourself, practice good hygiene, be somewhat presentable at work/to the outside world. I have felt like I haven’t had the time or the energy to work on the multitudes of amateur endeavors that I have hoped to take on — crafting, drawing, photography, web design, reading and writing more. But I have to remind myself how much has been going on in my life and to appreciate the every day opportunities and experiences, both big and small, that cross my path.
It’s been about two months since I moved into my new apartment. As I’ve expressed before, it was quite the adventure. I feel like I am still hemorrhaging money but have been better at reigning it in in recent weeks.
Being able to walk to and from work has been life-changing. I am much less exhausted when I get home and now have an extra hour and a half of free time every day (and less anger towards fellow New Yorkers crammed into a tin can rattling through a tunnel). As much as I denied it, that long subway commute took a daily toll on me.
About half of this extra time has been added on to my sleep schedule, allowing me to be more rested and ready to tackle work. The other half has gone towards eating better. I’ve been much more ambitious in my cooking, which means I’m overall healthier and spending less on mediocre lunches because I usually manage to pack my leftovers for a hearty next-day meal.
I’ve been better (marginally) at going to yoga, and have had a lot more opportunities for spontaneous get-togethers with friends. I am constantly tidying and improving my humble bedroom and also on occasion caring for my roommate’s fickle pet bird (who mostly hates me but who I am committed to love).
The past few weeks in particular have been busy. Towards the end of May I celebrated my birthday with the Second Annual Crafternoon (see the first one here). I will have to write more about that in a later post. My actual birthday was at the very end of May and the next day I left for a weeklong trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon with J and my parents (again, for another post!).
I returned to an internet-less apartment, which has severely hindered my blog updates and photo management. However, I have persevered! After a week back from traveling things have somewhat normalized.
So life moves on, sometimes very swiftly. I have been reminded that I cannot spend my time moping about what could be, but celebrate what is and appreciate the forward momentum of life. As Voltaire said:
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.